What is equality?

So I'm a little angry, well actually I'm a bit furious. And when I get angry or annoyed I struggle to make sense and make myself understood.

'Typical woman' you may say, why not? I get called many things and it seems it's okay to use sexist, racist and stereotypical language nowadays - especially if your a comedian. So laugh away at my expense, it's okay - apparently.

I'm at a loss as to how we all suddenly stopped caring and how we all suddenly fail to understand what the word EQUALITY actually means. I can certainly tell you what it doesn't mean - it doesn't mean SAMENESS. You don't have to be the same or be treated the same to achieve equality. In fact it's the very thing you can't do as we aren't all the same.

Take a feather and take a rock. I want 100 grams of each. So I get my scales and I put on a rock - wow on it's own it weighs 100g. Okay I'll weigh a feather, well no that doesn't weigh the same does it? So I keep adding feathers till I get to 100g and the scales balance, they are now of equal status. BUT look there are hundreds of feathers to my one rock. Well I've had to treat the feathers differently to the rock to get equality of weight, does it matter? No not really cause in the end the outcome we wanted is achieved - they are both weighing 100g. And I'm not sure it really matters to the rock that it's alone whilst the feathers pile up.

So, is it right give protection in planning laws to gypsy and travellers? "No this means they get special treatment" you cry.

Is it right to offer adjustment at interview to disabled applicants? "No that means we haven't all been treated fairly" is the claim.

And so the list goes on that tries to justify why we shouldn't provide disadvantaged groups with equality of opportunity. Why we struggle to retain our positions of power as we're afraid of the difference that we don't understand.

I just wish people would take the time to understand what equality means, to not be afraid of being politically correct. We all get it wrong, we all have prejudice but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try every day to respect the things we don't understand. It isn't easy, it's bloody hard and it takes effort. But does that mean we shouldn't try?

There is a car sticker that says - "if you are not outraged - you are not paying attention". So yes, I am furious but more than that I'm outraged!

Acceptable Prejudice

We all like to think we know what prejudice is, we like to think we can notice it when it happens and would do our best to avoid it or hopefully stop it if it rears it's ugly head. Racism, homophobia, sexism, transphobia, inappropriate jokes about disability are all things we'd agree are wrong.

Interestingly this week I've seen two areas of life where suddenly we aren't so sure. Suddenly it seems there may be acceptable prejudice - after all we're all agreed aren't we - "chavs", benefits scroungers or travellers - they're simply not deserving of respect, of consideration, of understanding. Of trying to see their point of view?

BBC Breakfast entered in to the debate on "chavs", what it means and if it is working class prejudice. I may not be able to answer those questions, but I do know it's a word I don't use, a word that is tinged with intellectual and insidious snobbery, a word that quite simply judges someone else. I try to live my life without judgements. I don't always get it right - true I make comments about Eton Toffs, Tories and others that perhaps now I realise I should reconsider. Yet when we use the word 'chav' we are making a statement about who holds the power - WE consider them to be powerless, it is condescending, a way of looking down on them. I'm not sure 'Toff' has the same effect - I'm not sure who holds the power in that particular insult?

Benefits Scroungers - we all claim to know someone that is living the high life on tax payers money. But do we? Actually do you? And if one person slips through the net and manages to abuse the system - who is wrong the system or the person? Does this mean we have to label all people based on a perception of a minority?

But really to me the worst 'acceptable prejudice' that is rearing its head higher and higher is anti gypsy and traveller feeling. It is racism. No other way to call it. We make judgements based on assumptions, misunderstanding and group think. "Living near a traveller site will effect my house price", "they're all thieves", "they don't fit in our community". I'm guilty too - perhaps expecting some members of these communities to be more homophobic - but actually I have no evidence for this. In fact I have plenty of evidence that they aren't as all the travellers I know have never had a problem with my sexuality when actually plenty of others have.

It is a complex issue, I do understand that, but then again - is it? Or is that yet another excuse to allow the media to label, blame and make a mockery of a community, a culture that we don't quite understand and are perhaps a bit afraid of because of that?

So at the end of August when the residents of Dale Farm in Essex are evicted at a cost of over £8 million pounds because the council say it's Greenbelt land - question why at the same time, this same Council is selling land up the road to housing developers? At our peril do we sit back and watch the rights of any group be eroded, at our peril do we accept terms like 'Pikey' in to everyday language, at our peril do we think that there is any prejudice that is acceptable....

Welcome to the new year

So, twenty eleven is here - why is it that people get younger every New Year? I'm not sure what it says about our civilisation that we say goodbye the old year by getting hammered and hello to the new by feeling sick and hungover?

Maybe though it is an appropriate way of blocking out all that should have been in the previous year. I'd like to think we're all just a bit better than that though.

No 2010 may not have brought us all our dreams, it may not have brought in the changes demanded of a civilised world. People still seem to judge each other, lack forgiveness and the fight for equality, respect and dignity continues. But perhaps we took one step forward. Even a small one?

Perhaps this current Government, built on suspicion and selfishness will help remind people that actually society does exist and no it ain't BIG! It's the small people that count. The people that no one listens to. The homeless people you walk past on the street. The gay people too afraid to kiss or hold hands in public. The asylum seeker just looking for a safe home. The eastern european just wanting to work for a decent wage. The people in prison paying for their crimes but hoping against hope someone will offer them a job when they've served their time.

Who am I then to judge how people bring in the new year? Democracy, free speech, they are tricky concepts. I don't claim to get it right. But perhaps this year when the society we all thought we knew starts to crumble, when it starts to become about what makes us different rather than trying to understand, accept and respect those differencea - perhaps this year, more than any other I can try a bit harder and hopefully someone will listen......

so, we've been through an interesting few weeks. We've had a visit from the Pope, challenging how we feel about the way religion dictates how we behave, influences our laws and tries to push our media in to forgetting marginal groups. I'm all for religion and faith but not when it challenges human rights.

We've had a survey that seems to wipe out visibility of the LGBT community and make us even more a minority. So it isn't saying look we don't need laws to protect us but actually LOOK there is a reason those laws are there as you don't even think we exist!

BUT for me more importantly we have new equality laws. Do you understand them? No I don't either.

What I do understand though is that we each have to stand up and be counted. We have to work hard to make our lives better. We have to have courage to fight for what we believe. I'm an idealist, but I'm a realist. I know it is hard. I know you have friends and a family that may turn against you. BUT if you don't stand up for yourself then who will stand up with you or for you.

As someone who is gay I recognise our wonderful legacy, I see the power in simple steps. You don't have to try and fight against the big beast but take small, positive steps to be yourself and the world has to change.

Sometimes I feel powerless in my life to make a difference, then I remember that actually by being myself, by taking those small steps I CAN make a difference, I can change not only those around me but maybe, just maybe the world. All I ask, all I want is to give you that courage, you that chance to be yourself and send a ripple across the giant pond.

Be who you are. Don't compromise. Embrace the wonder that is you and the wonder you bring to the world. Gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, questioning, disabled, black, white, young, old - life is a celebration, give yourself the power and change the world.

Condemned

Well we're 3 months in to our coalition Government and how is it going for you? If you're a white, middle class, straight male then probably pretty well.

Sadly those who don't fall in to this category can slowly watch as their steps towards acceptance, protection under the law and respect fall away. Look at the proposed legal changes against gypsies and travellers.

What worries me most is that people will start feeling safe to challenge the equalities agenda. Things that we once counted on as important steps to show the world we must accept and embrace difference will disappear. Extreme views will start creeping back in to everyday conversation.

I despair as to how we can make everyone understand what equality means - that it is NOT about treating us all the same, we're all different and one size doesn't fit all. Do we need training in organisations, more events that all staff can be involved in or more messages in the media that embrace everyone? Culture change is hard but even harder if it isn't supported by the Government of the day or the local government in your area.

So I challenge all of you - white middle class straight men included to stand up for not only yourself but those around you. To challenge the status quo and to join together to ensure that the steps we've taken so far don't hit a brick wall.

Dare to be different!

What makes people so afraid to be different, or even worse afraid of people who are different? They want to walk through life trying to make sure no one notices them - it effects who they are friends with and how they behave. These people long to be ‘normal’ but I’ve never been able to work out exactly what is normal?

Difference is what makes us all special. We are all different in some way. This difference can be extreme - it may be our race, it may be our sexuality - it may though be the colour of our eyes, our hair, a scar on our face. God it could even be the way we vote.

Yet the fight to help the world understand difference, the fight for equality can get lost in a misunderstanding that actually it’s about removing the difference. Rather than saying - ‘accept me for who I am’ we try to say ‘accept me as I’m just like you’.

Even worse this sometimes leads us to say actually rather than fighting for the rights of those who are different we should make sure we try to represent everyone. So the fight for gender equality is no longer about rights for women, the movement around sexual orientation should include representation for heterosexuals.

Now some of you may agree with this but personally I can’t. Down this road leads the argument that we are asking for ‘special rights’ - I’m not after positive discrimination, I’m after positive action. I’m after the world saying actually everyday is white male heterosexual day so today we’re going to do something for you.

I’m proud to be different, I don’t want to be like everyone else. But I don’t want people to be allowed to say I’m less than them because I’m different. And I want to think that out there in law, in our workplaces and on the streets people are willing to stand up for my right to be different.