We are a community!

As February comes to a close we finish celebrating Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender History Month. Often History Month is used as a reminder about those LGBT people that played a part in our mainstream history. But for me it is more important to remember that as LGB&T people we have a shared history which is so important.

In 1969 a small bar in New York, the Stonewall Inn was raided by Police. A group of Trans women and a lesbian were the first to say 'enough is enough'. They were quickly joined by many others from the Gay Community and the Stonewall Riots were born.

In 1978 gay men started to die in San Francisco and no one really new why, it would be during the 80s that the impact of AIDS was truly felt all across the world.

In 1988 the Conservative Government created Section 28 which banned the promotion of homosexuality in schools.

In 1992 Brighton holds it's first ever Pride.

In 2004 Civil Partnership became law.

These are just a few key events in our history.

History is important. It gives us a shared sense who we are and we learn from it to find out where we are going. Those of us who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender have a history of pain but also a history of triumph. A history of overcoming obstacles put against us, of fighting for our rights, of celebrating our sexuality, our gender and saying 'this is me' - respect me, respect who I am and who I want to be. Respect my right to love who I want to love.

This history - our own very distinct, very separate history that perhaps others won't understand - reminds me that we are a community for a reason. No we may not all have the same ideals, the same politics, the same taste in music! BUT we are drawn together in times of crisis and in times of joy, we know what it feels like to hide a part of ourselves. We know what it's like to be called disgusting, evil, abhorrent and abnormal. We know what it's like to watch friends be bullied, beaten, attacked and in some cases die. We know what it's like to turn to your friends and call them your family because your own family have rejected you.

And that's what we are - the LGB&T community, a family. Not always fitting, not always seeing eye to eye but knowing we've been on the same journey, we've got here in roughly the same way and that our history - our wonderful vibrant, colourful, eclectic history has helped us get here. So celebrate it, remember it, share it and tomorrow make some more!

After all that great gay rights activist Gandhi told us 'be the change you want to see in the world' - so that's what we've been doing year after year and long may it continue!

A timely reminder....

We live in a volatile world, the impact of our actions and our words often forgotten. What can be an ordinary day can be changed in a moment. What can be a good day can be destroyed in a second.

As a gay woman I know that homophobia exists, I know that the war against words, actions and hatred is far from over. But I also know that we've come a long way, that it happens rarely and that I can live my life mostly as I want to.

But not today. Today I received a timely reminder that we have to keep working, keep fighting and keep trying to be agents of change. Today I was simply returning to my car, parked next to a school when I was reminded that for our young people it can be a long journey to understanding and acceptance.

It was only words and we all know words don't really matter. Don't they? They certainly feel like they matter when they're being directed at you from a group of teenagers. They feel like they matter when they so quickly disempower you, shock you and yes upset you.

The question is where do the words come from and where do they lead to? Well I'm not convinced they were grounded in hatred. Rather lack of understanding, lack of education. From parents - perhaps? From lack of LGBT teaching in schools and the failure to challenge seemingly innocent abuse of the word gay - quite likely? And from the abject failure of our society to provide regular positive messages about the LGBT community - most definitely!

But where do these words lead? The concern is they will lead to hatred, fear and suspicion. That they will grow in to a regular occurrence. That they may turn in to violence. Or worse that they may be passed down to their children and beyond.

Part of the problem is the indifference people have to the quest for LGBT and really any equality. People think the world has improved, that it's all okay, that the fight is over. But if that were true why are people still afraid to declare their sexuality? It's not a private personal decision. It's fear, secrecy and implies we should all be ashamed. We must stand together and come out to help make change.

BUT we must also challenge homophobia wherever it happens. No I wasn't able to combat it directly with the young people this morning - I was disempowered. BUT I didn't let that stop me. I went in to the school, I contacted the Head Teacher, I suggested ways forward like speaking to Schools Out, or the Police. I won't be beaten or ashamed by being reminded that ignorance exists.

I will though be reminded that unless we stand together, unless every moment we hear homophobia we say no, unless we declare our sexuality we will never be empowered and we will never be able to finally be free to be ourselves without prejudice.

so, we've been through an interesting few weeks. We've had a visit from the Pope, challenging how we feel about the way religion dictates how we behave, influences our laws and tries to push our media in to forgetting marginal groups. I'm all for religion and faith but not when it challenges human rights.

We've had a survey that seems to wipe out visibility of the LGBT community and make us even more a minority. So it isn't saying look we don't need laws to protect us but actually LOOK there is a reason those laws are there as you don't even think we exist!

BUT for me more importantly we have new equality laws. Do you understand them? No I don't either.

What I do understand though is that we each have to stand up and be counted. We have to work hard to make our lives better. We have to have courage to fight for what we believe. I'm an idealist, but I'm a realist. I know it is hard. I know you have friends and a family that may turn against you. BUT if you don't stand up for yourself then who will stand up with you or for you.

As someone who is gay I recognise our wonderful legacy, I see the power in simple steps. You don't have to try and fight against the big beast but take small, positive steps to be yourself and the world has to change.

Sometimes I feel powerless in my life to make a difference, then I remember that actually by being myself, by taking those small steps I CAN make a difference, I can change not only those around me but maybe, just maybe the world. All I ask, all I want is to give you that courage, you that chance to be yourself and send a ripple across the giant pond.

Be who you are. Don't compromise. Embrace the wonder that is you and the wonder you bring to the world. Gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, questioning, disabled, black, white, young, old - life is a celebration, give yourself the power and change the world.

Condemned

Well we're 3 months in to our coalition Government and how is it going for you? If you're a white, middle class, straight male then probably pretty well.

Sadly those who don't fall in to this category can slowly watch as their steps towards acceptance, protection under the law and respect fall away. Look at the proposed legal changes against gypsies and travellers.

What worries me most is that people will start feeling safe to challenge the equalities agenda. Things that we once counted on as important steps to show the world we must accept and embrace difference will disappear. Extreme views will start creeping back in to everyday conversation.

I despair as to how we can make everyone understand what equality means - that it is NOT about treating us all the same, we're all different and one size doesn't fit all. Do we need training in organisations, more events that all staff can be involved in or more messages in the media that embrace everyone? Culture change is hard but even harder if it isn't supported by the Government of the day or the local government in your area.

So I challenge all of you - white middle class straight men included to stand up for not only yourself but those around you. To challenge the status quo and to join together to ensure that the steps we've taken so far don't hit a brick wall.