What is equality?

So I'm a little angry, well actually I'm a bit furious. And when I get angry or annoyed I struggle to make sense and make myself understood.

'Typical woman' you may say, why not? I get called many things and it seems it's okay to use sexist, racist and stereotypical language nowadays - especially if your a comedian. So laugh away at my expense, it's okay - apparently.

I'm at a loss as to how we all suddenly stopped caring and how we all suddenly fail to understand what the word EQUALITY actually means. I can certainly tell you what it doesn't mean - it doesn't mean SAMENESS. You don't have to be the same or be treated the same to achieve equality. In fact it's the very thing you can't do as we aren't all the same.

Take a feather and take a rock. I want 100 grams of each. So I get my scales and I put on a rock - wow on it's own it weighs 100g. Okay I'll weigh a feather, well no that doesn't weigh the same does it? So I keep adding feathers till I get to 100g and the scales balance, they are now of equal status. BUT look there are hundreds of feathers to my one rock. Well I've had to treat the feathers differently to the rock to get equality of weight, does it matter? No not really cause in the end the outcome we wanted is achieved - they are both weighing 100g. And I'm not sure it really matters to the rock that it's alone whilst the feathers pile up.

So, is it right give protection in planning laws to gypsy and travellers? "No this means they get special treatment" you cry.

Is it right to offer adjustment at interview to disabled applicants? "No that means we haven't all been treated fairly" is the claim.

And so the list goes on that tries to justify why we shouldn't provide disadvantaged groups with equality of opportunity. Why we struggle to retain our positions of power as we're afraid of the difference that we don't understand.

I just wish people would take the time to understand what equality means, to not be afraid of being politically correct. We all get it wrong, we all have prejudice but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try every day to respect the things we don't understand. It isn't easy, it's bloody hard and it takes effort. But does that mean we shouldn't try?

There is a car sticker that says - "if you are not outraged - you are not paying attention". So yes, I am furious but more than that I'm outraged!

Acceptable Prejudice

We all like to think we know what prejudice is, we like to think we can notice it when it happens and would do our best to avoid it or hopefully stop it if it rears it's ugly head. Racism, homophobia, sexism, transphobia, inappropriate jokes about disability are all things we'd agree are wrong.

Interestingly this week I've seen two areas of life where suddenly we aren't so sure. Suddenly it seems there may be acceptable prejudice - after all we're all agreed aren't we - "chavs", benefits scroungers or travellers - they're simply not deserving of respect, of consideration, of understanding. Of trying to see their point of view?

BBC Breakfast entered in to the debate on "chavs", what it means and if it is working class prejudice. I may not be able to answer those questions, but I do know it's a word I don't use, a word that is tinged with intellectual and insidious snobbery, a word that quite simply judges someone else. I try to live my life without judgements. I don't always get it right - true I make comments about Eton Toffs, Tories and others that perhaps now I realise I should reconsider. Yet when we use the word 'chav' we are making a statement about who holds the power - WE consider them to be powerless, it is condescending, a way of looking down on them. I'm not sure 'Toff' has the same effect - I'm not sure who holds the power in that particular insult?

Benefits Scroungers - we all claim to know someone that is living the high life on tax payers money. But do we? Actually do you? And if one person slips through the net and manages to abuse the system - who is wrong the system or the person? Does this mean we have to label all people based on a perception of a minority?

But really to me the worst 'acceptable prejudice' that is rearing its head higher and higher is anti gypsy and traveller feeling. It is racism. No other way to call it. We make judgements based on assumptions, misunderstanding and group think. "Living near a traveller site will effect my house price", "they're all thieves", "they don't fit in our community". I'm guilty too - perhaps expecting some members of these communities to be more homophobic - but actually I have no evidence for this. In fact I have plenty of evidence that they aren't as all the travellers I know have never had a problem with my sexuality when actually plenty of others have.

It is a complex issue, I do understand that, but then again - is it? Or is that yet another excuse to allow the media to label, blame and make a mockery of a community, a culture that we don't quite understand and are perhaps a bit afraid of because of that?

So at the end of August when the residents of Dale Farm in Essex are evicted at a cost of over £8 million pounds because the council say it's Greenbelt land - question why at the same time, this same Council is selling land up the road to housing developers? At our peril do we sit back and watch the rights of any group be eroded, at our peril do we accept terms like 'Pikey' in to everyday language, at our peril do we think that there is any prejudice that is acceptable....

A timely reminder....

We live in a volatile world, the impact of our actions and our words often forgotten. What can be an ordinary day can be changed in a moment. What can be a good day can be destroyed in a second.

As a gay woman I know that homophobia exists, I know that the war against words, actions and hatred is far from over. But I also know that we've come a long way, that it happens rarely and that I can live my life mostly as I want to.

But not today. Today I received a timely reminder that we have to keep working, keep fighting and keep trying to be agents of change. Today I was simply returning to my car, parked next to a school when I was reminded that for our young people it can be a long journey to understanding and acceptance.

It was only words and we all know words don't really matter. Don't they? They certainly feel like they matter when they're being directed at you from a group of teenagers. They feel like they matter when they so quickly disempower you, shock you and yes upset you.

The question is where do the words come from and where do they lead to? Well I'm not convinced they were grounded in hatred. Rather lack of understanding, lack of education. From parents - perhaps? From lack of LGBT teaching in schools and the failure to challenge seemingly innocent abuse of the word gay - quite likely? And from the abject failure of our society to provide regular positive messages about the LGBT community - most definitely!

But where do these words lead? The concern is they will lead to hatred, fear and suspicion. That they will grow in to a regular occurrence. That they may turn in to violence. Or worse that they may be passed down to their children and beyond.

Part of the problem is the indifference people have to the quest for LGBT and really any equality. People think the world has improved, that it's all okay, that the fight is over. But if that were true why are people still afraid to declare their sexuality? It's not a private personal decision. It's fear, secrecy and implies we should all be ashamed. We must stand together and come out to help make change.

BUT we must also challenge homophobia wherever it happens. No I wasn't able to combat it directly with the young people this morning - I was disempowered. BUT I didn't let that stop me. I went in to the school, I contacted the Head Teacher, I suggested ways forward like speaking to Schools Out, or the Police. I won't be beaten or ashamed by being reminded that ignorance exists.

I will though be reminded that unless we stand together, unless every moment we hear homophobia we say no, unless we declare our sexuality we will never be empowered and we will never be able to finally be free to be ourselves without prejudice.

Kent LGBT Hate Crime Vigil

Monday 21 February was a great night for the LGBT Community in Kent. It stepped out from the shadows and made a statement about what it will and won't accept. This was the speech I gave to welcome everyone to Kent's first Hate Crime Vigil.

Hello my name is Jo Frazer and I’m a gay woman who lives in maidstone.

Welcome and thank you all for coming tonight. I know that for some it may seem strange to hold a hate crime event as part of the celebrations of LGBT history month, but for me the two things can and do belong.

It’s so important that we stand out and proud together and help people to realise that LGBT people in Kent are your Doctors, your lawyers, your teachers, your postal workers, your project managers, your social workers, your road sweepers -

we are everywhere and we don’t want to be tolerated, we don’t want to be ‘accepted’ as if we’re something other, odd or strange.

No - we want to be recognised and respected for who we are and the contribution we make to society.

Martin Luther King said ‘our lives being to end the day we become silent about things that matter’ - well I matter, you matter, we matter -

every black gay man matters.

every disabled lesbian matters,

every muslim bisexual matters

and every elderly transgendered person matters.

So by being here tonight we can start the journey together - we can make a change and celebrate who we are whilst at the same time as saying ‘enough is enough’.