Dare to be different!

What makes people so afraid to be different, or even worse afraid of people who are different? They want to walk through life trying to make sure no one notices them - it effects who they are friends with and how they behave. These people long to be ‘normal’ but I’ve never been able to work out exactly what is normal?

Difference is what makes us all special. We are all different in some way. This difference can be extreme - it may be our race, it may be our sexuality - it may though be the colour of our eyes, our hair, a scar on our face. God it could even be the way we vote.

Yet the fight to help the world understand difference, the fight for equality can get lost in a misunderstanding that actually it’s about removing the difference. Rather than saying - ‘accept me for who I am’ we try to say ‘accept me as I’m just like you’.

Even worse this sometimes leads us to say actually rather than fighting for the rights of those who are different we should make sure we try to represent everyone. So the fight for gender equality is no longer about rights for women, the movement around sexual orientation should include representation for heterosexuals.

Now some of you may agree with this but personally I can’t. Down this road leads the argument that we are asking for ‘special rights’ - I’m not after positive discrimination, I’m after positive action. I’m after the world saying actually everyday is white male heterosexual day so today we’re going to do something for you.

I’m proud to be different, I don’t want to be like everyone else. But I don’t want people to be allowed to say I’m less than them because I’m different. And I want to think that out there in law, in our workplaces and on the streets people are willing to stand up for my right to be different.

Have we all been stonewalled?

Over forty years ago the visible fight for gay rights began on the streets of New York. For many it would seem that journey is now complete - we can have civil partnerships and the full protection of the law.

However if this is true why are so many still afraid to come out? Why when you turn on the TV, or open the paper is there such little reflection of our lives and culture? Outside of major cities how many gay people can safely show affection in public?

Yet despite this the campaign for gay rights has changed. The Peter Tatchell or Harvey Milk approach is seemingly unacceptable. Instead we are content to no longer rock the boat, presenting a face of corporate respectability - gay men in suits are far more likely to make steps forward than lesbians with shaved heads.

But what of the thorny issues like true equality with marriage, discussing homosexuality in schools - or even being included in the census? How do we push boundaries without being willing to not fear upsetting people or the Government of the day?

Harvey Milk thirty years ago asked us all to make a stand, to come out and change the world. If we all did that tomorrow - it would have not choice but to change.

But I wonder how long it will take to invoke true change in grass roots communities; to make the life of a young boy bullied at school easier; to allow the career minded woman to believe she’ll be promoted if she’s gay; to stop the lesbian couple being spat on in the street - whilst we skirt around the issues and pander to the perceived sensitivities in both the public sector and corporate worlds?

I’d like to think we all have an inner Harvey Milk daring us to be different. Challenging us to question ourselves and those around us so we can come out and say what we believe and in that change the world.

Let’s not forget forty years ago Stonewall was a riot and although we’ve come a long way, sometimes we still need a bit of that fighting spirit.